Wednesday, June 16, 2010



Indeed I am tired. Let me rest well.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Guilt That Comes Together

Dear D,

Right after coming back from Uptown Shah Alam for dinner, Mimim urged me to drive her to the place where she saw a little white kitten before we headed dining earlier. Reaching there, indeed the same kitten still remained at the same spot as if it hadn't moved at all since then. Mimim asked me whether she could pick it up back home. Well, that is where guilt came into myself as I was counting of its pros and cons of bringing that little poor thing home.

Well D, it's either bringing it home or not bringing it home, I do think in both ways it comes with the good & the bad. So, if it is chosen to bring it home, I believe sooner or later, she would abandon it because Mimim stays in the hostel - where having pets is absolutely not allowed. Later, she'd leave it under my care. Which; I refused to because I live in with my other flatmates thus certain guidelines should be given a damn on. Moreover, I already have 2 cats whom my bf takes care of them on my behalf.

Whereas not to bring it home, invites uneasiness towards Mimim and also a bit part of me because leaving it out there surrounded by the cold night - just imagine! - at night, if the blankets of ours aren't covering our feet, we'd be trembling in cold. What more of a kitten! But then, to decide taking part of which is one is rather hard. Guilt comes when we are to be or not to be.

Since Mimim couldn't control her emotion, weeping while I gave her a reasonable explanation, so my suggestion was that to feed the kitten there while we both could and at least, tonight its stomach was saved. Tomorrow, we'll look out for it again to feed it.

Out of that decision of mine, I do believe that kitten has its mommy which is called 'Kiah' by guards of my residence and because Kiah is a white adult cat so no doubt that kitten is hers. And, to be growing that a little big of a kitten, it must be breastfed by Kiah or else by now, it might be dying or were really thin and small.

The thing is, any stray cats which me or my siblings bump into will come in a package of this huge guilt. Because the responsibility is huge to raise a kitten. Even I was kind of giving up in taking care of Minyu and Salem. But it has its own reasons why. If only I own my own house, kittens I've found on the streets will be my personal belongings. But what more could be done, I'm helpless to provide a shelter of those stray cats. Poor thing!

I dream of building up cats and dogs' shelter if I were a millionaire.
or at least if I have extra money.

Remember, stray cats & dogs - they also have souls.

Like us.
The pain might just feel the same.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Nice Weekend


Grateful all the way to Him because lately my life has been so 'alive'! Happiness in which ignited smiley face to be worn on my face all the time! :)

The weekend started awesomely with a visit from Mimi. We had fun today and more fun tomorrow as mom and Nida will be joining us and it'd be a terrific weekend! Hee!

Love is felt to engulf me a lot!
Indeed, I'm happyyy!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Exchanging Partners

It is mostly the sad feeling tonight, Diary.

I am questioned hardly by such answerable questions in my head about guys in general and love, specifically.

In a love relationship, two persons of different sexes fall in love with each other with a quest that they both actually have a lot in common. But at the middle, when the time gets longer, although it is quite fit to say the longer they know the more things regarding him/her that they'll know within each other; renders it to be insanely possible because there suddenly exists misunderstandings, uncommon things/interests are created making almost all stuffs turned as sour as sour plum.

The mostly common case is when there suddenly exists a whole new character into that relationship being as an obstacle to the smoothness beforehand. But I admit it is not wholly the fault of that new character that just comes into stage, it is just basically the entire fault of whom get the situation hot for a moment that, that one should be stoned to death, if emotionally driven.

So, what do men want really? They have what they have gained with so much efforts previously but then they just wasted it as if nothing in memories is ever valuable to them. Because that other new character is beautiful, makes them think twice of any bizarre chances that might be coming into life once in a lifetime. The possibility in getting the chance is undeniably risky but still men would weigh its pros and cons in order to get hold of that new, beautiful character. For their own satisfaction.

I am intrigued by such notion that men can actually have to be naughty once in a while but why can women? (I mean, why can't I...? :p)

Seriously I did actually give the leeway for him to go for her. But the hurt I expected to hold would be so painful, I know. So I don't want to let anything go for I believe 87% of his 'being naughty' is temporary while I'll be getting the permanent one.

Lastly, the truth is, I'm getting tired of this.
I didn't give a damn just now.

Sleep tight, D. Night night.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Getting Fat, me.

Hi Little Diary,

How are you? (Heheheh!)

Well Diary, I just want to share with you that I think over time, I'm gaining weight! Or the rude way of saying it is I'm getting fat! I put myself to tests every now and then and obviously the fact is indeed true. For examples, when I sit on the toilet bowl, I couldn't see any white line beside both my feet. That's first. Secondly, when I wear skinny jeans, the above of my knees both have this extra baggage which when I pinched it, it has almost about a grasp, wo! Luckily, it still fits me. Haha! And whenever I sit and drive, I could see as if err a big snake on the chair. lol! I'm not that happy for this but I could say my life has been happier since I allowed myself to eat a lot. At least, I don't have to visit Klang Hospital that often for broken stomach. *wink wink*

Just really hope I can make my heart becoming really really fat too. So that, it'll be numb, dumb, and a bum!

I need to make myself busy. I'm going to take that job.

Rest to sleep now, D.